Winnie Sticks (not to be confused with ((Winnie the) Pooh Sticks)

I know all the dog books, vets, dog specialists, weekend experts all say you should not encourage your dog to play with sticks - and I didn't. She needed no encouragement - sticks are dog toys - full stop. Since Winnie came into my life, I've always had a collection of assorted dog toys about my person ( I'm funny that way) but Winnie tells me there are times when only a stick will do,

These sticks must be selected by Winnie, Any human selected sticks will be taken off the gift giver, run off with by the tiny one......and thrown away. You must understand as well that there are various grades of sticks in a small terriers mind and we've already touched upon the first one -

a) Human selected sticks - these are all rubbish, not worth the effort of running around with and are best discarded at a distance far enough away from the 'helpful' human to discourage them picking them up again. The stick should be removed swiftly from the person so as to minimise any hurt feelings or emotional attachment to the stick by the person. Once sticks have been thrown away two or three times by a determined terrier the person usually gets the message.

b) Small dog sticks - these are often selected by humans, so this type of stick can be an a and b combined type of stick. Naturally this only adds to its unsuitableness, if there is such a word. Small dog sticks are the kind of sticks that humans think a small dog should run around with and taunt other dogs with. This really only goes to show the general ignorance of humans when it comes to the status value of a stick. For this, among many reasons, a caring terrier tries very hard to train their human out of this way of thinking in a bid to stop them making a complete ass of themselves in canine company. After all, this kind of stupidity does not reflect well on any accompanying dog.

Small dog sticks are not desirable for a terrier that is vertically challenged for many of the reasons already covered - they are usually selected by humans, they make a small dog look cute (almost as bad as dressing one up!), they are very common and easy to find, they are easy to lose, it is hard to bash any dog, or human, with a small stick (this is a very important point as we shall see later).

Really, small dog sticks are only taken up if there really is no other kind of stick around (we wont mention the human selected ones - they don't count).

c) Dog sticks. These are sticks that  are the equivalent of small dog sticks, but for larger dogs. They are often favoured by gundogs, or those dogs of an amiable and easy going disposition who don't care about their street cred or reputation. Their value to a small terrier is that they are larger and therefore make more of a statement. Cleverly manipulated, it is possible to carry out at least an ankle swipe or shin graze with one - always a good thing to remind any people on a walk that walks are all about the dog - not gossiping, or admiring the view. There is also the implied kudos of the possibility that a small terrier may have taken this stick off a larger dog and, for this reason, a vertically challenged dog is often seen to adopt a kind of swagger when running around with a dog stick in their mouth. Winnie says this is 'walking the walk'....

d) Big dog sticks. No, this is not sticks taken from a big dog (although it can be - study the swagger to work out if it is), this is a big stick carried by a small dog. The best big dog sticks have one or more small branches attached to them - sometimes still with foliage - which is even better. On average, a big dog stick only qualifies if it is over three foot in length, otherwise its just a stick. A small dog with a big stick has got bragging rights. They cannot be ignored - if the stick is a good one, it can look like the stick is moving by supernatural forces, as opposed to terriernatural forces (which we all know are scarier). A big dog stick says something about the strength of a dog, it shows determination - that a small dog has not been defeated by the enormity of the challenge of finding and running with a big dog stick. Then there is the problem of stick envy by other less capable canine foragers. A big stick lets a terrier take on all comers - and win.

There is one more benefit with a big dog stick - especially one with strategically placed branches- you can hit or trip a human very effectively with a proper big dog stick. This ability is not to be sniffed at. A stick with sufficient length can be cleverly threaded through a persons legs (this takes terrier practice), so that at least a stumble is inevitable and, if carried out correctly, it is even possible to make one fall. This is of course very useful if the people are ignoring small terriers and talking to other people. A terrier into people training can soon get them to always treat a terrier with a stick with the respect and attention such a trophy deserves.

For the poor terriers who happen to be unlucky enough to have a slightly dim owner, then there is another technique. If they have selected a proper big dog stick with plenty of branches it is perfectly possible to hit them on the bottom with it. This usually gets their immediate attention.

Finally there is the last category -  a very rare one......

e) The perfect stick. Winnie is still searching for one of these and she tells me that some dogs go all their lives and never find it, but Winnie reckons this is because they lacked focus and were not clear in their own mind as to just what 'the perfect stick' was. Winnie knows what her perfect stick will be  -

Winnie's perfect stick will be 5-6 feet long and ideally will be a yound willow sapling, minus its roots. It will have a well developed branch system at the top, but still be light and bendy enough for her to manouver. The whippy branches will be perfect for tripping multiple people and sweeping away any canine rivals for this perfect stick. She is currently working on a technique of running full tilt at a group of people and taking them out at the ankles. I have my suspicions that she may have got this idea from watching the chariot race scene in Ben Hur!

One Track Mind!

So, what is Winnie's very most favourite thing to do? More favourite than food? More favourite than chasing a ball? More favourite than stealing another dogs ball? Agility - oops sorry Winnie, I know that should be  - AGILITY!!!!!!!!!!!??????********!!!!! (runs round the room screaming with anticipation yelling at the top of my voice)

Agility is Winnie's reason for being. Agility is Winnie's world. You could safely take Winnie into an area where the agility equipment is set up, release her to go off to the equipment and then walk off and leave her. You could come back an hour later and she would still be there playing on the equipment - yes even the weaves....

So given her attitude to agility you can imagine that taking her training is not something to be undertaken lightly. Firstly you must understand that ALL agility equipment belongs to Winnie and is there solely for her own use - and no-one elses! Should some other dog get on to her equipment she naturally has to tell them off - usually by barking at them very very loudly until their run is finished. She tells me there are a lot of rude dogs around - especially at shows and on training nights. So much so, she sometimes has to queue to use her own equipment - how very dare they!!!!

When she realises we are going to a show or to training she bounces around so much in her car dog crate that she's positively vibrating on the spot. She makes a noise a bit like the air being let out of a balloon interspersed with her trademark guinea pig noises and by the time I open the tail gate of the car to get her out of her crate she is trembling with anticipation. Once lead and owner are attached to her, Winnie carries out another one of her 'defying the laws of science' tricks - this tiny dog manages to pull her considerably larger and heavier owner to the training area or competition rings so hard and fast that it is perfectly possible to feel like you are flying.

Having arriving in the near vicinity of the equipment it is now useless for anyone or any other dog to try to attract her attention - Winnie is now 'in the zone' - mesmerised by the brightly coloured kit as she visualises herself running, leaping and jumping over everything. Amazingly the only person she listens to is me and that is probably only because I am the 'enabler' that allows Winnie to get her Agility fix.

Now we are on the start line and I'm armed with Winnie's wages (Kong Squeaky tennis ball ). She is really trembling with anticipation by this stage - so much so that she's having trouble keeping her bottom on the ground as she tries to do a sit wait. Often the combined effect of this means whilst her body is stationary the mouth goes into overdrive - this always means we are in for a bumpy ride. If the mouth has taken over completely, then there will be the inevitable wait break, then the inevitable loudly shouted excuses from her whilst I take her back to the start line and put her back into her sit wait. She seems to feel that if she tells me loudly enough why she had to break her wait. I'll understand and not take her back to the start. You can't blame her really, its just a variation on the technique that so many British use when trying to make themselves understood in a foreign country! 

Finally we've got the correct start and I've released her onto the course. Bearing in mind that the force of the mouth can take over at any time it is essential that I keep all verbal commands to a minimum so that I neither encourage her to join in, or to try and shout me down with her own course direction choices. Whilst we are running I must never, never attempt to correct her during the course as this will unleash The Fury! The Fury is Winnie telling me just what she thinks of me making her go wrong. It is delivered in rapid staccato barks at top volume and goes something along the lines of -

"now look what you've done, you've made me go wrong AGAIN, that's what I get for listening to a human, they're so indecisive, and you're one of the worst and you made me go wrong AGAIN...."

...and so on ad infinitum. So not only do you have the humiliation and self recrimination of going wrong, plus the comments from your trainer and club members, but you also get the very loud telling off from a diminutive terrier - delivered in such a way that no one can be in any doubt that this is exactly what she is doing - telling me off.

As we finish the exercise or course I lob the tennis ball for Winnie's wages. Winnie becomes an exocet missile in terrier form as she darts off to catch the ball and SQUEAK it. Any confused doggie bystander that even thinks about going after the ball is blasted out of the way by the shockwave left in the wake of the Winnie - missile as she captures her prize and skips happily round the ring showing off her prize.

Whew - running Winnie can leave you battered and bruised both mentally and physically, but it does leave you with that lovely feeling of triumph at having survived another training session.

Mornings

How do your mornings start? If you are a dog owner, are you met with a happy smiling dog face telling you its morning, its wonderful and you should get up? Not me. As the clock approaches the time for the alarm to go off (ie a work day time) I come round to some wriggling in the bed - Winnie sleeps in the bed, but that's another story.....

The wriggling increases with the odd small squeaky noise, a bit like a guinea pig, plus an occasional kick from a small back foot. If this doesn't work the kicks get more frequent, as do the squeaks. Finally either the alarm goes off or I give up and get up. Not for me the leap of joy from under the quilt as a jubilent canine dashes to charge downstairs with me. Oh no - all I get is a head peeping out from under the quilt (especially if it is winter time and the heatings only just gone on). This head is rapidly withdrawn under the quilt...

So I stagger downstairs, acoompanied by my ever faithful.............Siamese cat. I put the kettle on, put fresh water in the water bowl, give the cat his breakfast. Still no sign of the small thing. I add dog biscuits to the dog bowl - still no small thing, get the wet food out of the fridge to add to the biscuits - still no small thing. Only when I proceed to mix the wet food with the biscuits does madam appear. If I take too long then the anxious looks start, swiftly followed by the guinea pig impersonation again.

As the food bowl makes contact with the floor she is ready and waiting. She then very carefully picks through the bowl eating all the meat and leaving the biscuits - so glad I took the time to mix them all up. When this is accomplished she disappears again; back upstairs under the quilt.

Dillon the cat and I carry on, going about our tasks until I reach the point where I am ready to take Winnie for her morning walk. Naturally I call her from downstairs and naturally she doesn't appear. So I traipse upstairs, extract her from under the quilt and put her collar and lead on. I am then frog-marched around the town - the speed of the frog march depends on the outside temperature. In extreme cold Winnie employs the 'walk so fast your feet don't touch the ground and get cold technique'. It certainly is one way to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but brisk doen't begin to descibe the experience - there's nothing like arriving at the office completely shattered because your Jack Russell has been moving at twice light speed in order to get back in the warm. The whole experience gives you that 'lived in 'look at best and at worst its more like the 'seen life and its not been kind' look

So once you have staggered back over the threshold of your house and unplugged Winnie from her lead, she dashes over to her food bowl and eats all the biscuits she left earlier. Often the Siamese cat has removed a few from the bowl in our absence and patted them round the kitchen floor (perfect for getting stuck between your toes!), but these are all dutifully hoovered up by the Winnie monster.

This final task completed, Dillon and I are subjected to a two second searching gaze by Winnie and then she turns on her heel and goes back to bed - under the quilt of course.

That is the last I see of her for the morning. She will be waiting for me at lunch time, but of course that is a whole different ordeal.

What about Winnie?

Thought I ought to tell you a little bit about Winnie. She came to live with me at 17 months. Her previous owner was really worried that she would escape and get on to the road. Things had come to a head when she came home from work one day to see Winnie going up the road in the opposite direction, after she'd climbed out the bedroom window and got on to the roof of a bus!

Winnie had only just recovered from a miscarriage (an unplanned mating) and had started to show signs of phantom pregnancies. As a result of all this she was a little run down and had become a fussy eater.

She is now four and is a very hirsute, rough coated, tri colour girlie. She has been spayed so the mood swings etc have gone. She is a complete dog agility addict. If she sees another dog on the equipment she yells and shouts and screams as it is her equipment and no one else should be on it. When we finish a training session I face another temper tantrum as she doesn't want to stop. Very funny - its just like a kiddie throwing themselves on the floor and drumming their heels in temper.

When I first got her she thought I was out of my mind when I wanted to walk her when it was dark. An even greater madness in her eyes was walking in the rain. Why would anyone want to do that? Hadn't I watched the Wizard of Oz? Didn't I know people could melt or shrink in the rain? She was already a very small dog - she didn't want to take any chances that she might get smaller - look what happened to the Wicked Witch of the West?!

Now she does walk in both darkness and rain, but she still thinks I'm mad. She fancies herself as a bit of a human trainer and she takes every opportunity to perfect her training skills. So far she has got me to get up and make breakfast while she carries on sleeping in MY bed - under the quilt of course. She is working on the 'I'm not coming downstairs until you offer me a biscuit - and a good quality one at that!' technique. Only problem is that the uncooperative human keeps going upstairs and picking her up and carrying her downstairs. However, she hasn't given up hope - because sometimes it works..... 

Beginnings

Winnie has opened whole new vista's for me. Because of Winnie I had to escape proof my house. Because of Winnie I have learnt how to fit stair-gates to  a listed house's doorways, each of which is very individual and not normally suited to a metric sized standard stair-gate. Because of Winnie I discovered in the first fortnight of ownership that it is possible for a Jack Russell to eat a sofa - even a very tiny Jack Russell. The list is endless....

Because of Winnie I am learning how to blog. I have been writing of Winnie's many exploits on Facebook for a while now. As a result my friends have 'persuaded' me to write a blog about the pleasures and pitfalls of sharing your house with a terrier and not just any terrier, but a small terrier.

No one every explained to me that small terrier's are TARDIS dogs - much bigger on the inside than the outside. In a small terrier everything is distilled and concentrated - they can be very sweet, cute, whatever you like to call it. They can also be very, very wicked. Most are endowed with a brain much larger than their size would suggest. Their ingenuity and general ability to think 'outside the box' (figuratively and literally!) will often catch you unawares. Terrier owning is not for the faint hearted and small terrier owning is probably best left to the fool hardy....and certainly to those who are prepared to both make a fool of themselves and to be made a fool of.

So I hope you'll enjoy this blog and perhaps recognise some of your own dogs exploits in those that Winnie gets up to. For those thinking about owning a terrier, perhaps this blog might help you prepare for the inevitable mayhem that will follow....